Chronic illness is a lonely road. But I have learned that there is indeed a purpose within the pain. I suffer not in vain, for it is preparing the soil of my soul. It is being tilled, cultivated until loosened, ready for the seed of purpose to be planted down deep within. Though lonely days of silence can be extremely deafening, He remains ever present. God longs for me to have a deeper relationship with Him. As His tears rain down from Heaven, branching together with mine, they stream downward seeping into the rich soil, as it waters the seed. And even though I have found this road at times to be one of great agony, shadowed by a state of hopelessness, it is when I fix my gaze upward to the Son, His illuminating light shines down bringing warmth that reaches into the depths of my inner being.
My seed of purpose begins to sprout, breaking through, and stretching upward. As I continue to tune out the swirling thoughts within my mind, I then am able to recognize His soft, gentle whispers of encouragement. His love is unfathomable as I become enveloped within His arms of Grace. He beckons me to share in His sufferings of long ago, that are found between the pages of Scripture. My sprout receives much needed nourishment as I ingest the Written Word.
The stem grows tall and strong. Its leaves so tightly entwined around the stem begin to loosen, stretching outward. A bud forms at the top. Then... one by one its brilliant petals open until a single blossom unfolds into the masterpiece it was planted to become. Beauty from ashes. A purpose bloomed out of the thorns of life. Oh, how I greatly desire to share my seeds transformation with you. The beauty that life has to offer even through the emptiest of times. I cut my rose to gift it on to someone in need of encouragement. To share its petals of hope where there was once doubt. Joy where there was sorrow. The love of a Savior who will never leave their side.
Now other blossoms begin to grow in its stead. Through continued pruning and nourishment, my story of purpose grows fuller yet. As the weeds of lies and desperation come to choke out the Son's light, with immense aggression I dig each one by up by their roots, tossing them to the wayside. Though many grow back even larger than before, others have joined me to help weed and so tenderly tend to my stories garden. Their hands of mercy encourage me through the stormy days that blow in from time to time. But, it is ultimately my Savior who calms the waves of uncertainty and its torrents of pain. Yes.. this is my story. What is yours? As we ALL have a story to tell.
"Good Friends help you find important things when you have lost them. Your smile. Your hope. And your courage." ~ Doe Zantamata
"Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someone's life, but why not be the moon, to brighten in the darkest hour?" ~ unknown
I DEDICATE THIS TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. FOR BEING MY LEGS WHEN I COULD NOT STAND. MY SONG WHEN I COULD NOT SING. MY LIGHT AND JOY IN THE MIDST OF DARK HOURS. WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT MY BEAUTIFUL TAPESTRY OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS!
