I have always cared way too much of what others think of me. It is almost a disease really. I never quite understood why. The other day I stole a few minutes of peace and quiet behind closed doors. That is when it occurred to me. Mind you, I don't sit around all day pondering this. It came about through something that I was reading. A question stirred up memories that I had locked away for over 40 years. And then I remembered.....
The dreaded confirmation class. Not because of the material that was being taught, rather the pre-teens who attended the class with me. One very particular boy in fact.
Just before the class began, I went to the bathroom. When I returned, there it was. In black ink boldly scribbled out upon my clean white binder I read,
"Heather is Dumb". I felt my heart drop down into the pit of my stomach as I could hear the snickering laughter of the boy and his buddy behind me. But do you know what was the worst part? I already believed that to be true.
When I was just the wee age of 4 years, I was enrolled in the afternoon kindergarten class at the local grade school. It was then that my struggles began and when the teacher was questioned by my mother, her reply was,
"I expect more from Heather as she is the tallest one in our class." Really? How utterly moronic!! I continued to struggle off and on academically and socially even through High School. And moments such as the one in the basement of my Lutheran Church during confirmation class certainly worsened how I perceived myself.
So. What is the truth? It certainly is not that I am dumb. It has taken years for me to me come to that validity. Even today I have moments of insecurity. As I am sure we all do. But there is another word that has brought complete freedom and healing to my wounded heart. Salvation to a long weary soul. Rather it is a name. The name.
And that name is, JESUS. Oh how I love Him! He is the lover of my soul. My Best friend. My Savior. He is TRUTH.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ~John 8:31-32
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ~2 Corinthians 3:17
